Google's Master Plan

It’s a C-O-N-spiracy

You know, there has got to be a way to create your own conspiracy theories online, just by connecting the dots. Sort of a “Six Degrees of (fill in the blank)”.

For instance:

(1) My brother Jason worked for…
(2) the VP of Minor League Baseball, with connections to…
(3) Major League Baseball, which is currently involved in…
(4) A massive scandal involving the use of illegal drugs supplied by…
(5) Drug dealers whose profits go to train in Columbia…
(6) Terrorists affiliated with the IRA.

Thus the genesis (and silliness) of the vast majority of conspiracy theories.

Now repeat after me: Correlation does not imply causality…

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9 Responses to Google's Master Plan

  1. Mark Gardner says:

    These look like fun. Let me try one.

    1. Shaun Kenney has been to my house.
    2. I’m an alumni of Penn State University.
    3. John Amaechi is an alumni basketball player of Penn State.
    4. John Amaechi has just admitted that he has a tendency to be attracted to males.

    Therefore… 🙂

  2. Mike says:

    Way to draw me into the blogosphere, there Shaun!

    While most conspiracy theories are silly and WAY untennable (all UFO conspiracy theories, the “Shadow People” conspiracy, the Jesuit Assassins conspiracy, etc) there are is very legitimate research into crimes which can only be classified as conspiracies, such as the JFK assassination.

    I know you aren’t trying to discount all conspiracy theories, and it’s silliness like this that absolutly drives me nuts. It makes those of us who do legitimate research look like loons as well.

  3. Shaun Kenney says:

    Bad news is that only leaves you with three degrees of separation there, Mark!

  4. Mark Gardner says:

    I guess that I’m not very good at this either.

  5. Jason Kenney says:

    Crap, I’m busted…

  6. Mike says:

    Amateurs …

    (1) George H. W. Bush owned Zapata Oil and has a wife named Barbara
    (2) The codename for the invasion of the Bay of Pigs was “Operation: Zapata” and
    the name of the ship that carried the invading forces was the “Barbara”
    (3) After the Bay of Pigs debacle, Kennedy fired Allen Dulles and threatened to
    shut down the CIA.
    (4) Lee Harvey Oswald is listed as working for both the FBI and CIA (Hoover hired
    Oswald to spy on the CIA, who in turn had Oswald spying on pro-Castro Cubans)
    (5) Jack Ruby (who shot Oswald after Oswald is blamed for JFK’s assassination) was
    employed by Richard Nixon, who was put into political power by Prescott Bush (father of GHW Bush)
    (6) GHW Bush was identified in Dallas Texas at the time of Kennedy’s assassination, and is
    named in a Hoover memo as having threatened Hoover.

    Conclusion – GHW Bush Assassinated JFK.

  7. Mike says:

    Or … for fun, you can creat your own random conspiracy theories here …

    Conspiracy Generator

  8. Shaun Kenney says:

    George W. Bush had Michael Jackson arrested so that oil companies, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and the Christian Coalition could invade The French.

    Wha??? I mean, it sounds plausible…

  9. Mike says:

    Mine’s better …

    George W. Bush gave Iraq reconstruction contracts to his friends so that Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter could kill The French.

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