Nyet to Rain!

Now this is the coolest thing ever!

PRESIDENT PUTIN has ordered fine weather for the St Petersburg summit and 300th anniversary festivities next week, and it is unlikely to rain on his parade.

Ten aeroplanes will take to the skies, equipped with cloud-seeding agents in an attempt to induce rain away from the city, allowing holidaymakers and visiting heads of state to enjoy dry weather below.

Vladimir Stepanenko, head physicist of St Petersburg’s Geophysics Observatory, said: “Our aim is to empty all clouds of rain before they hit the city borders.” Such practice may strike awe into the heart of every rain-soaked Brit, but Russians take “cloud-bursting” for granted, having enjoyed its benefits over public holidays since Stalin gave the order to research weather control in the 1930s.

Over decades, the observatory in St Petersburg has developed techniques to dispel clouds, divert hailstorms from harvests, arrest avalanches, disperse fogs from airports and bring rain to drought-afflicted regions.

The most reliable form of rain prevention is to induce the clouds to rain before they float over the area under protection. The pilots on board the cloud-bursters will be directed towards rainclouds by meteorologists on the ground. On the orders of geophysicists on board the aircraft, dry ice will be dispensed into the clouds from a mile away. The dry ice is fired in special pyrotechnic capsules that combust once empty. Once injected with dry ice, rain crystalises within the cloud and falls ten or fifteen minutes later.