A Bold New Vision for a Democratic Majority: Fascism

Obviously a parody, I started reading this and found it too good to pass:

Anyone who wants to understand why the Democratic Party (barring a catastrophic implosion by the Republicans) will never win another major election in this country need only read this article. It correctly identifies the core problem of the party, which is this: Voters are repulsed by weakness. What it fails to get right is the fact that the Party, as currently constructed, will never be able to get around this problem. Why? Because weakness is inherent in the party’s ideology.

There are only two ways to appear strong. One is to stand for something. The other is to kick ass. Today’s Democrats most emphatically are not equipped to do either.

The Democrats’ problem is that they are trying to counter the actual, admirable viciousness of the Republicans with a cheap imitation of viciousness. Both parties are equally unscrupulous, but the viciousness gap will remain real and unbridgeable–until some changes are made.

I think it is high time that we all admitted that outright fascism has a lot to offer American society, and the Democratic Party in particular. Not only would it be an enormously successful electoral strategy, it would be vastly superior as a governing principle to the halting, pusillanimous, fake fascism of the Republican party. Just think of the benefits of claiming the presidency on the following platform:

Now you have to read through this article in order to understand the reasoning behind it. Warped? Yes. But hilarious none the less.